


Good Enough

by GeekLibrarian



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Reader-Insert, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-08
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-04-03 11:36:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4099567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeekLibrarian/pseuds/GeekLibrarian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After yet another day of not moving forward with the hunt at hand, Y/N decides to go for a snack when Dean leaves her alone yet again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Good Enough

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first Spn fanfic, and my first completed work in about three years of writing hiatus, so be gentle with your comments ^^

You laid on your bed alone, and naked. Dean had already took off to his own bed and yours was feeling cold, just as you were, and a single tear rolled down your cheek before you stood up and started to dress. If you kept doing this, you were going to get hurt, if you weren’t already.

It was nearly 3a.m. but that wasn’t going to stop you, you were a stress eater, and right now you were under a lot of stress. You opened the door of the motel room, glared just once to the sleeping figure, and started walking towards the closest 24/7 store you could find, and while doing it, you began to think about your situation.

It had all started a couple of months back, after the last fight between Dean and Sam, when the younger brother had took of the bunker to hunt on his own. You had stayed with Dean because there was a force keeping you next to him, something you couldn’t control neither accept.

_“Find me a hunt, NOW” Dean had said to you and locked himself on his room._

_So you started looking until you find what looked like an easy salt a burn case, not three hours away from the bunker. You did all the research, downloaded everything you needed and went looking for Dean._

_Four hours later you were both in the basement of an old house, looking at the rests of human bodys, boots sticking to the blood that covered the floor, and what looked like a big faerie (it was actually a Dryad) holding you both with roots that were coming out of the floor. After that everything went south, and the only reason you weren’t dead, was because Dean had saved both your asses._

_The trip back was one of the hardest you had had to endure. Dean didn’t speak to you, not even looked at you, and you started thinking that maybe you should leave too, clearly hunting wasn’t your thing. You stepped into your room in the bunker and started clearing your drawers, tears down your face, when he came in._

_“What do you think you’re doing?”_

_“I’m getting off, before you kick me out too” you said in a broken whisper_

_A loud noise startled you and when you turned around you saw a hole in the door and Dean taking his hand off it. He was furious, and you were scared._

_“RIGHT!” he shouted, and you recoiled to a corner “Abandon me you too, everyone just get off my life, IT’S NOT LIKE I NEED YOU!”_

_You started crying, but he didn’t noticed, he just went on with his rant, breaking and slamming things in his way._

_“But you’re right, you better leave, because if you don’t YOU WILL GET US BOTH KILLED! Just like tonight! What were you thinking! What kind of research is that! Sammy would’ve NEVER made that mist…”_

_“WELL I’M NOT SAMMY!” You screamed in between your tears, shaking violently, scared of what could come after that. You have never seen Dean like that before, and hoped you would never have again._

_“No, that’s god damn clear you’re not!” he said in a rough voice, approaching you quickly and grabbing you by your shoulders. You closed your eyes and look away, waiting for the punch, but it never came. When you open your eyes, he was looking at you with a mixture of pain, rage and disbelief “You thought I was going to hit you?”_

_He hold your face with his hands and looked you deeply “I would never hurt you” he said. And stormed off, grabbing your empty bag as he left “And you’re not leaving”._

_He left you there, curled up and sobbing, but he returned a couple of minutes later, still anger in his eyes._

_“I’ve got to get this out of my system” he said, lifting you up and kissing you hard. You couldn’t tell what was all that about, but at the time you didn’t care, you kissed him back and started to strip him, giving yourself away in that storm of fear and anger._

_When you woke up next morning, he wasn’t there anymore. You put on some clothes and wondered around the bunker looking for him, until you find him in the kitchen._

_“Hey” you said in a guilty whisper._

_“Oh, hey” he answered looking up from his beer, and he continued “Look, about last night. I’m sorry. Well, not sorry, but…”_

_“It’s ok” you said quickly “we both needed the adrenaline. I’m glad it went that way and not any other more… regretful”_

_He nodded and left the kitchen without looking back._

After that, every time a hunt went slightly wrong, you would find yourselves trying to drown the pain away in bed, letting all the rage and anger drain away in one night of luxury. First, you would sleep all night (or all day) together, and never talk about it afterwards. It helped. He wasn’t happy, but he wasn’t losing it either, and you could do your job more relaxed.

But a couple of weeks back, something had changed. You started to feel him shut again. He barely talk, during hunts he was more aggressive, and during your nights too. And he had started to leave you alone afterwards without a word, and now your heart was breaking. Against your reasoning, and everything you had put your mind to, you were falling for him, and your casual angry rants weren’t helping, more than killing you.

You get to the convenience store and started grabbing things to stack the motel room’s fridge. Today hadn’t been a good day, and everything pointed at you two staying at least a couple more. Pie, beer, some fruit, sandwiches, more pie, more beer… Your eye caught a flask of painkillers and you took that too, not sure why. You paid the cashier and started to walk back, unaware of the shadow following you.

You unwrapped one of the sandwiches and started to eat it, while you thought of the case you were following: Missing girls, all around 25-30, independent, with jobs, no relations… come to think about it, it kinda looked like a description of yourself, even the hair color was the same.

And then you heard it, crawling behind you. “Shit” was all you had time to say before something hit you hard on the head driving you unconscious.

————————————————————————-

Dean rolled over himself in a dream and suddenly woke up. “Shit, Y/N” he whispered, and sat up to check you on your bed, only you weren’t. “Y/N!” he shouted and jumped to his feet, dressed up and run to the street. The Impala was still there, so you hadn’t run off. He remembered seeing you creep to the kitchen late at night lately, so he started waking to the 24/7 he had seen earlier.

He reached the convenience store and walked in. “Hi” he said to the cashier “I’m looking for my friend, she left the motel a while ago and never came back.”

“You’re talking about the depressed chick that came half an hour ago?” he said “y/h/c hair, medium height, lots of pie and beer?”

“That’s her! Wait… depressed?”

“Well, she looked like she had been crying and took a flask of pain killers. But she left half an hour ago”

Dean shook his head to get rid of this new information, and focused on what was more urgent: you were missing. He had started running back to the motel when a little orange flask caught his sight, he bend down to look at it, and within the bushes he found the rest of the bag “SHIT, Y/N!” he cried, running a hand through his hair.

Back in the motel, he was preparing to leave when his phone rang “Thanks for calling me back” he said “Y/N is missing, and I don’t even know what the hell we’re dealing with here… I need your help, Sam”

————————————————————————

You woke up in a wet and cold circular room, and the first thing you noticed was the smell, the unbearable strong rancid smell of putrefaction. When your eyes got used to the dark, you saw the bodies, all tied up to columns around the room, all of them ripped apart, guts spread all over. You gulped and gather all your strength not to throw up, concentrating in a way to lose the rope that tied your hands on your back, but your head was now starting to ache and you felt the vomit coming up your throat.

————————————————————————–

“So, a ghoul” he said to Sam, on the other side of the phone

“And clearly a very sociopath one, for the looks of it. If what you tell me is right, it’s chasing after a certain type of women only. Unluckily, that’s what Y/N looks like.”

“Ok, thanks, Sammy” he said.

“Do you want me to come over?” asked Sam, hesitantly.

“No. No, it’s ok. You’re too far away, I should get her back before you could get here… And if I don’t… well, I never will”.

There was a minute of silence after which Sam answered a faint “Ok”.

“I’ll meet you back at the bunker” was all Dean could come up with, and then hanged up.

——————————————————————————

“Well that’s great” you said to yourself. Now, besides being tied up to a column, you were also wet and dirty. On the bright side, you were feeling much better and you could think clearer, though your head still hurt. It was then that you started feeling a funny feeling on your butt, and suddenly realized that whatever it was that caught you it didn’t remove your phone from the back pocket of your cargo pants. It was a long shot, but apparently you were alone, so you started to twist in order to get your hands near your bottom.

After some long fifteen minutes, you managed to unbutton the pocket and with two fingers started to pull the cell out. You couldn’t see the screen, but this days the only one that called you (specially at… what, 4, 5 a.m.?) was Dean, so trying your best to remember the ways around your touch-phone, you returned the last call. A wave of relief overwhelmed you when you heard the tone.

——————————————————————————

Dean hung up his cell and placed it over the table, breathing deeply. He stood up, grab his jacket and placed his machete inside it. He was going for his phone when it started to ring, your face on the I.D.

He froze for a moment, and the answered. “Tell me you ran away and you’re not in the menu of this sick bastard”

You barely heard him, and you couldn’t tell if he could hear you, so you started tapping the microphone with your nail.

“Y/N?” Dean’s voice cracked, realizing that you were indeed traped.

Something was coming your way, if you were going to say something, shout something, this was the time. “Who’s there?! Why do you keep me in this underground circular room?!” You could only hope, whoever it was, you weren’t being so obvious, and that Dean could hear you.

Dean couldn’t hear much, but he did hear enough. That day you had been canvasing the crime scenes, and now he could tell which of the buildings you’d marked as suspicious was the one you were held in. With his cell still glued to his ear, he jumped on the Impala and took off.

“So, you’re awake” Said a soft voice, and the guy from the diner where you had had lunch approached you, knife in hand. “You’re the stronger one yet, I must confess, that kinda… turns me on” he finished, stroking your face with a blood-stained finger.

“Oh, you’ve made a big mistake” you said, taking your head away from him “Such a terrible terrible mistake”

“Really?” He asked, with a maleficent grin “I sure don’t hope you’re talking about your federal companion, because this is no FBI matter” he said grapping your face and forcing you to look at him “You see, I can’t die”

You started to laugh, a pure, loud and crystalline laugh, and the ghoul looked at you in disbelief. “Everything can die” you said, staring at him with hate “Specially a filthy disgusting ghoul like you”

This statement made him jump. “Hunters!” he screamed with anger and fear “Fucking hunters! I am so going to enjoy eating you…”

On the other side of the phone, Dean cursed, and tossed the cell away. He was almost there, only a couple more minutes, but yet again, maybe you didn’t have a couple minutes.

“YES! HUNTERS!” You screamed “And the best of them all” You said. That might’ve been true for Dean, but you were far from good. Even so, you needed to buy time, make him talk, keep him away until Dean got there, or at least until you managed to cuut the rope that was holding you.

“No you’re not” He said in a soft voice “You can’t be”

“What?” you asked

“The best hunters, the ones that never lose, the ones every single monster has heard about and fear… you’re not them”

“Ah…” you said in realization “You’re talking about the Winchester brothers” A smile upon your face.

“Precisely,  _brothers_ ”

“Well, you see… that’s a matter of perspective”

“What the HELL are you talking about?” he was beginning to shiver, you could see he was tightening the grasp on his knife because his knuckles were now white.

“Well, it’s not that hard to understand, is it? Dean… and Samantha” you lied, trying to keep it cool “Guess which one I am”

He started to laugh, a strong diabolical laugh that filled the basement and made you shiver. “You can’t expect me to believe that, do you? Sam and Dean Winchester are brothers, two male brothers, and there’s no way on earth you are Sam”

“No, you’re right” you said in a soft voice “But he IS Dean”

The guy turned around quickly, only to end up face to face with the raging green eyes of Dean.

“Goodbye, asshole” and with a swing of his arm he cut the head of the ghoul, that dropped dead in the spot. He looked at you, with a mixture of anger and relief, and proceeded to untie you, without a word.

He helped you up and checked your wrists, looking for cuts. “I’m not hurt, Dean” you said in the same guilty voice you now used to talk to him, staring to the ground.

“Good” he said, began to walk out of the place.

———————————————————————–

Back in the hotel, the sun was coming up and your head and stomach were aching. “I’m going to take a shower, I’m covered in vomit” you said, but he didn’t answer, he was already asleep.

The hot water on your skin burnt, but that helped you ease the inside pain you were feeling. With the warmth and vapor soon enough you started to relax, and everything that had happened that night started to flash back to your memory: his anger when you couldn’t figure out what was taking the women, his hypnotic green eyes approaching you filled with wrath, his hands all over you, his violent moves, your emptiness, him leaving you alone, the supermarket, the pain killers… you wished you had those now, the basement, the smell, the pain, the silence.

Tears began to come down your face, and before you knew it, you were crying, sitting in the shower, water pouring down your skin and sobs gathering in your throat. You had to get away from him, he didn’t love you, you weren’t even sure he cared about you, you didn’t even know why he had gone looking for you.

When you came out, he was sitting in your bed, holding a little orange flask. He looked up at you, concern in his eyes. “Are you in pain?” he asked you, throwing the flask to you. You catched it and recognized it immediately.

“I am now, thanks for picking it up” You said, turning around looking for water.

“Y/N…”

“What?” you asked defensively “You worried about me? Well you shouldn’t, it’s non of your business if I’m in pain”

“Yes it is” he answered angrily “I can’t be hunting with someone who can’t focus! With someone WHO FUCKING LEAVES THE MOTEL AT 3 AM IN THE MORNING!!! SOMEONE WHO IS STUPID ENOUGH AS TO LET HERSELF GET CAUGHT!!!” he was raging, every single muscle of his body tensed, his eyes almost glowing.

“Well… it shouldn’t be a problem for you anymore” you said, calmly “I’m going back with you to the bunker to get my things… And then I’ll be on my way, not bothering you anymore”

And with that, you left the room towards the diner. Dean stood there looking at the wall.

Now you could say that  _this_  was the worst trip you’ve ever had. Neither of you spoke the entire way, and this time you wanted to just climb off the car and stride away, not looking back.

But when you got to the bunker at last, you were glad you came back. Sam was there, waiting for you both.

“Sam!” you screamed happily running down the stairs and jumping into his arms “Oh Sam, I thought I wasn’t going to get the chance to see you again” He hugged you strongly with a laugh.

“Oh Y/N, I’m so glad you’re ok! I knew Dean would get you back” he said with a smile.

“What?” you asked

“Dean…” Sam said, looking at his brother “he called me last night because you were missing… he didn’t tell you?”

“We didn’t get the chance to talk too much” said Dean, patting his brother’s shoulder as he passed by, with an expression of thankfulness and pain in his face.

“What? But you’ve been driving six hours” Sam said to you, looking into your afflicted face “Y/N, what’s going on?”

So you told him everything that had happened that last night, and the nights before, and you felt weak and broken but confident all the same, talking to your friend and telling him how you have fallen in love with his brother and how you felt that he was shutting you out.

“I can’t live like that” you finished “I’m leaving tonight, I’m just so glad you’re here now. He always finds his way around everything when you’re both together”.

Later on, you were finishing packing your stuff. You hadn’t realized how much shit you’ve been gathering the past few years with the boys, you’d have to leave a lot of this junk behind, if you were going back to the cheap motel life.

“So… you truly are leaving” said a voice from behind you. Dean was standing there, laying against the door frame with guilt on his eyes.

“I am” you said, sadly “I can’t go on like this, Dean. It’s killing me”

“You are in pain, then”

“I’m… yes. I’m in pain. Though I don’t think the pain killers are going to help me with that”

“Is it me? Am I pushing too hard?” He asked, and you turned around when you sensed pain in his voice “If you don’t want to hang around anymore, that’s ok, I understand if you don’t want me around, I already figured you didn’t”

“Dean…”

“I just wish you would’ve told me before you started to hate me” and he turned around to leave.

“Dean!” you called him and grabbed his arm, a little smile in your face “Is that why you didn’t hang around with me after it anymore? You think I hate you?”

You started laughing in relief, his face still confused.

“Dean, I don’t hate you… I love you” you pushed the ball in your throat down with a gulp staring at the floor “That’s why I can’t keep on with this. Because I can’t stand having you in my bed but not in my life, I can’t stand not being able to feel vulnerable near you because it’s not our obligation to hear it all… I can’t stand being your friend knowing that’s all there’s going to ever be… And I just can’t stand being alone in my bed having you so close… it’s just so empty and cold”

You lose his arm from your grip and turn around to keep on packing, but this time, he was the one to hold you back, and the tenderness of his touch surprised you. He looked into your eyes with those amazing eyes of his, and a smile in his face.

“Then I would never leave it again” he said, and grabbing your neck with his hand in the most softly way imaginable, he kissed you. A kiss you thought you would never have, a kiss full of love and happiness.


End file.
